Have you ever seen a dolphin looking at himself in front of the mirror with admiration? Of course not in your bathroom, but on the internet! What is less intriguing, but a very cute sight nonetheless – A baby dolphin attentively watches himself in the mirror, follows the spot on his belly, spins around, and shows off himself joyfully. Apart from the fact that during an experiment like this one dolphins proved their high intelligence once more, (the dolphin calf taking part in that experiment was younger than the one year old babies that took part in analogous experiments and showed much better results, one year old babies can’t recognize themselves in the mirror) they also led my thoughts to some interesting associations. You see, spinning around in front of the mirror and emitting his joyful sonar signals, a dolphin is basically rehearsing the mating dance he is to demonstrate in front of an attractive female in the future. The “macho dolphins” also give gifts to their dates – they scoop up all sorts of things from the bottom of the sea – whether it is starfish, sponges, or algae, as what matters is not the gift, but the attention. And then it dawned on me: this is where the secret of the constant cosmetic and surgical procedures which human males and females undergo lies! All this is, is an extended mating dance professionally backed up by various industries, and even medicine.
The predators and preys have swapped their places in our world long ago: sometimes the prey must work hard to be hunted down, and even compete against other preys. In other words, the predators have become quite lazy, and not only the prey must put on the war paint on their faces, they must also walk around the sluggish predator provoking him to some action. Around any worthy predator with its own burrow and passable physical qualities, real battles sometimes unfold far worse than the Borodino battle and they are fought on a completely bloody front. Cosmetic and plastic surgery has reached an absolutely record scale in Azerbaijan. Think about this for a second, our mothers and especially grandmas lived their whole lives without changing anything in their physical appearances, with whatever fell into their fortune. It wouldn’t have even occured to them that delineation of the cheekbones and removal of Bisha’s lumps will give their face unprecedented sexuality, and pumping up their lips with hyaluronic acid to the state of well-boiled dumplings will make them sensual and attractive.
As the generation of social networks under the unavoidable influence of the stereotypes imposed by them, we are the first victims of the battle for the standards of pseudo-beauty. Men, stupefied by the images of ideal babes from Instagram, stopped responding to the natural product and the natural product rushed to unify itself, trying to fit in with the glossy pictures of the false ideals. Moreover, what’s funny is that the glossy pictures are generously flavored with filters and other digital tools, but in fact, those big-lipped mermaids do have a pimple on the nose and cellulite on their butts.
But the average Azerbaijani guy will never see a mega-super-influencer from Los Angeles wearing a nightgown and without make up on, and therefore he will “meditate” on the pictures from the Internet until he turns blue. And what do we get in the dry residue? It’s simple: look around, what do you see? Tanned, slender gazelles with silicone on their butts and chest, with hyaluronic acid in their cheeks and chins full like paradise apples, with tiny noses puffed up haughtily and pouted lips, with smiles in the colors of a porcelain sink, with foreheads that even a wave after a nuclear explosion won’t flutter (thanks, Botox!), with hair extensions perfectly straight, the color of which will vary depending on the trends of the season, with eyelashes like fans and eyebrows like Brezhnev’s after the thaw, with nail extensions that make the comparison to a wild cat even more obvious, and with empty glass eyes, because all this work on oneself takes so much time that no time is left to do anything else.
Today, the decision to lie down under the surgeon’s knife has become so easy and simple, that it can be made during a gathering with girlfriends. As a person who went through rhinoplasty for psychological, rather than physical reasons, I don’t understand how you can decide to do this again, or even for the third and twenty-fifth times. I know people who have changed the shape of their noses and chest sizes three times! I asked plastic surgeons and cosmetologists about their personal statistics on the most popular procedures and operations. Surgeons have their own top 10: in the first place, of course, is everyone’s favorite, rhinoplasty – nature didn’t deprive us of noses, generously distributed humps to most representatives of both our sexes, similar to the ridges of the Greater Caucasus, which, naturally, is like godsent for the compassionate Hippocrates from the world of beauty.
In the second place is mammoplasty, breast augmentation with silicone implants, with the C-cup leading the way – the tastes of male customers are already clearly visible. Soft tissue operations (blepharoplasty and abdominoplasty) and fat liposuction proudly shared the third place. By the way, in the course of my investigation, I also discovered the hidden leader of the hit parade – this is the intimate plastic, and it is done, in most cases, not for medical reasons, but for aesthetic ones – mating games are gaining unthinkable speed and competitiveness requires real sacrifice.
Beauticians have a different situation – the top 10 consists of care procedures aimed at preserving and maintaining youthful skin, and our favorite interventions aimed at modifying the appearance. The leaders of the second category have been the manipulations of lip augmentation for many years, sometimes reaching the point of absurdity, as well as filling all other cavities with hyaluronic acid, changing the line of the cheekbones, smoothing the hump of the nose, eyelash extensions and various methods of eyebrow correction.
Mating games did not bypass the dentists either – the procedure for installing veneers in unnaturally white shades is gradually becoming a bestseller.
Sometimes, sitting in a cafe, I glance at the company of some fragrant beauties involuntarily and understand with a smile that if you dress them all up in the same dress and shuffle them, it’s unlikely that you will be able to figure out the first time which of them is Aileen, and who is Aidan. And they, looking in the mirror, at first they hesitate a little themselves, until they figure out how to pay for the meal
But in fact, the secret of beauty is simple and has not changed since the creation of the world: what is beautiful inside, is also beautiful outside. And it is always better to start manipulation from where your inner voice comes from. There is nothing more beautiful than individuality and the glorious tiny flaws which can make you lose your head. Love yourself, and external beauty will be a wonderful addition to your inner balance. And remember about dolphins, they are very special creatures and if we are just a little distracted by all sorts of stupid things, they will instantly take over the world.